fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
