More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dear god my vagina.
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