i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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