My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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