I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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