Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
