You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
