Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
