If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
