and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
