it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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