Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
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i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
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I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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