Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
