It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
