i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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