I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
