I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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