ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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