You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
