so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
