no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hippo gnu deer
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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