I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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