Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
