Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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