We're facebook friends in real life
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The adults are the big ones right?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
