she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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