I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
