This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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