sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
