Where did you get a picture of my penis
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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