According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize