took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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