Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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