There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
