only if we run a train.
done.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize