I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
