More tranny stories later!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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