Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I touched a dick in church today
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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