it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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