woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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