I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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