she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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