let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think i have herpe
just one?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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