Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
