Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
try to milk me bitch
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
