hotel room ftw
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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