its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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