so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
