There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
