I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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