seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
