drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
where does the pee come out of this thing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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