Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
