Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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