guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
