Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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