I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
