belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
