My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
