I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think my moral compass just broke
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
