Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
