What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My dick has a subreddit
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
