I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
