I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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