So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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